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Pro Athletes: How to Ruin Your Career in 10 Easy Steps July 25, 2007

Posted by Marquis Chapman in Basketball, Football, NBA, NFL, Sports.
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With all the pro athletes constantly getting into trouble these days, it’s almost as if these guys want to throw their careers away.  Well, their prayers have been answered.  All they have to do is just follow these 10 easy steps and their careers are sure to be ruined. These steps are fail proof.  Users of the steps include Terrell Owens, Latrell Sprewell, Stephen Jackson, Pacman Jones, Michael Vick, the Cincinnati Bengals, and Ron Artest.

  1. An Entourage is a Must-Not only does this ensure that more trouble will come your way, but it almost guarantees that someone in your inner circle will not have your best interest in mind.  Your entourage should not only include some of your best friends but also people you really don’t know that well.  An entourage will be one of the biggest reasons why your name will be synonymous with trouble. 

  2. Put the “I” in Team– A personal favorite of Terrell Owens, this will definitely create distractions for the team that you’re on.  All you have to do is put yourself before the team.  It’s that simple.  Feel free to talk bad about your teammates to the media and keep reminding everyone who’s team it is. It’s perfectly fine to tell the coach you don’t feel like practicing and you can even take some plays off in games.  Always remember that your individual stats are more important than the overall success of the team.

  3. In da Club– Being that you’re a well known pro athlete, the best possible place to hang out and relax would be the club.  This also includes bars and the ever popular strip club.  At these type of places, your bound to find money hungry women, drunk guys determined to start a fight, and an occasional shootout. Hang out at these places often, and you’re bound to be on the front page of the local paper.

  4. Carry a Weapon– When you go out, it is important to have a gun on you at all times.  A routine traffic stop for speeding could quickly turn into a pending court date.  If a fight does break out at the club that you always go to, you can then fire the gun in the air alas Steven Jackson. Firing a gun in the air in a large crowd could have heavy consequences seeing as how the bullets come down. Having a weapon at the wrong place at the wrong time will definately hurt your future as a pro athlete.

  5. Banned Substances are O.K.- This is a step that many pro athletes like to follow.  Following this step is sure to cause you a lot of trouble as a pro athlete. Steroids, cocaine, and marijuana are some of the norms but feel free to experiment with others. This will also put your life in jeopardy as well.  Some of the consequences of using controlled substances are suspension, heavy fines, and if you’re really lucky a lifetime ban.

  6. Demand More Money– Often called the Sprewell rule, this just requires you to demand more money regardless of your performance.  So if you had a slightly above average season, demand more money.  If you had a mediocre season, demand more money.  Even if you had a horrible season, demand more money. When trying to figure out the price range of your new contract,  try to go 3-5 times more than what you’re actually worth .  If someone asks you why you want more money, just simply reply “I have to feed my family.”

  7. Talk to the Media about Your Problems– Anything that should be discussed within the organization; take it upon yourself to inform the media of all the details.  This should be done if you want to be traded, have problems with another teammate, or if you just don’t like your coach.  Just always remember that the media should always be the first to know.

  8. Live Above and Beyond Your Means– This step doesn’t apply to the superstars in professional sports who have million dollar contract endorsements.  This only applies to the pro that is making a  decent amount of money but wants to live like the superstar.  The most important thing to do is buy things you don’t need. Spend your money like there’s no tomorrow. Don’t invest in property or stocks.  Instead, buy a car with a fish tank in it or buy a watch that costs more than a house.  These are great investments that are sure to cripple you.

  9. Forget About the Fans– Even though they are the sole reason why you’re making so much money, it is best that you forget about your fans. It is important to establish that you are better than them.  Put yourself on a pedestal.  So what if they buy your sneakers, jerseys, and anything else with your name on it.  Don’t sign autographs if you don’t feel like it. After games,  just walk right past the kids that wait in line for hours to take a picture or want your signature on their shirt.

  10. Establish a Dog Fighting Ring– A technique that has been popularized by a left handed quarterback in Atlanta, this will surely get people disgusted at you.  Not only will the fans turn on you, but you’ll have organizations like PETA protesting your every move.

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Comments»

1. twelfthman - July 25, 2007

just outside the top 10:

– fight your teammates in the dugout. (the chicago cubs)
– fight the cops. (scott olsen)

2. tws392000 - July 25, 2007

That is a great list; sadly, it’s all too true.

3. Update: Vick should be cut « Dog-eared page - July 26, 2007

[…] Also, 10 steps to ruining your pro career here. […]

4. yojoe - July 26, 2007

Remember coaches can also ruin their careers. Thanks for the comment. Like your site.

yojoe

5. Nicole - September 2, 2007

Yeah most of it is your coach and the amount of pressure you are under going

6. Chris Dare - October 2, 2007

Vick was indeed a great ball player. Along with many i WAS a fan of him. What he did touched the hearts of the fans in an unforgettable,yet unforgiveable way.

7. Killa SeAsOn - December 11, 2007

All ways tryna bring a black man down

8. Nefertitti Townes - December 12, 2007

I am black and we have to “as a black community” stop acting as if breaking the law is ok…if you are black and famous! We all wanted OJ to be “not guilty’…….TI, not in jail……Micheal Jackson, did not touch any kids, Barry bonds-No drugs! But the are all guilty. I am guilty of this type of thinking as well. I now realize that IT IS WRONG!!!! Since they are black and have made it to be a successful person they should be EXTRA careful to be good role models and we should stop and know that WRONG IS WRONG!!!! No matter what color you are!

From a black women, mother and sista to all!
Mz. Nefertitti Townes, ATL

9. true nigg - December 26, 2007

fo sho nigga

10. Life Lessons: Pro Athletes | Red Eye Monk - July 13, 2009

[…] to Apologize Pro Athletes: How to ruin your career in 10 steps Eddie Murphy – RAW (full […]

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websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform.

I have heard very good things about blogengine.net.
Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it?
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Does your website have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating it but, I’d like to send you an email.
I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.
It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d
definitely donate to this fantastic blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this blog with my Facebook group. Chat soon!
Greetings from Los angeles! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to check out your site
on my iphone during lunch break. I love the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on
my mobile .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, fantastic blog!
Hi! I know this is kinda off topic however I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest writing a blog article or vice-versa? My site discusses a lot of the same subjects as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other. If you are interested feel free to send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Fantastic blog by the way!
Currently it appears like Movable Type is the top blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

Outstanding post however I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this topic?
I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Appreciate it!
Howdy! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding one? Thanks a lot!
When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks a lot!
Hey there! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us valuable information to work on. You have done a wonderful job!
Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m
getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform.

I would be great if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

Hello there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!
Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?
Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!
Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!
I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the structure of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two images. Maybe you could space it out better?
Hi there, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can suggest? I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any support is very much appreciated.

This design is incredible! You obviously know how to keep a reader amused.

Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to
start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job.
I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
Too cool!
I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your blog. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit
more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme?
Exceptional work!
Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new
to me. Anyways, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!

Hi there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group?
There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Many thanks
Hey, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog site in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, wonderful blog!
Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while
but I never seem to get there! Thank you
Hi there! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog.
Is it difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m
thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any points or suggestions? Thank you
Hello! Quick question that’s totally off topic.

Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?
My site looks weird when viewing from my iphone.
I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to resolve this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share. Thanks!
I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website
to come back in the future. Cheers
I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it
for you? Plz reply as I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thanks
Whoa! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a
completely different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design.
Excellent choice of colors!
Heya just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue.
I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.
Hello are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the
blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any html coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!
Hi there this is kinda of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding experience so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?
My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing many months of hard work
due to no data backup. Do you have any solutions to prevent hackers?

Hello! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok. I’m
absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.

Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to
protect against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve
worked hard on. Any recommendations?
Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?
I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good
gains. If you know of any please share. Thank you!
I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is required to get setup? I’m
assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% certain.
Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the images on this blog loading?

I’m trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the
blog. Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

I’m not sure exactly why but this web site is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem
still exists.
Hi! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 4! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the excellent work!
Wow that was odd. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t
appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say wonderful blog!

17. online blog sites - August 24, 2014

I know this web site gives quality dependent articles and other information, is there any other site which presents these kinds of information in quality?


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